Love & Chicken

I love my wife dearly. I always have. But after 15 years of marriage there are some things that should be innate in her knowledge. For instance, I know for a fact that at least 2 times a week I will find one of those little paper maxi pad strips in the bed. It will happen. I know it will happen and I have geared my reaction to it over the years as to not make it the huge issue I made it the first 600 times it happens.

That's what love and marriage are all about. Understanding each other and knowing what or how the other will react.

Anyway, last night I called the Mrs at home and asked what was for dinner. Chicken, I was told. Great I thought and that was that.

So I go home and look in the oven. What do I see? Hot wings. They're for our son, 12 years old and experiencing a cornucopia of new likes in the food category. Great. I'm very excited that my boy is moving out of the Mac & Cheese and Grilled Cheese sandwich phase. Eating chicken wings - protein- not bad for him, OK.

But where was my dinner? We've been married 15 years, dated for 5 and not once in those 2 decades has she ever seen me eat anything hot or spicy as a meal. Yes, I've tried stuff, but my reaction is a sweaty miserable complaining one, so as a result, I won't eat spicy or hot food. I don't even like yellow mustard.

I believed I had been the victim of the Bait & Switch. I was told one thing and I got another. I had been hosed.

Was I wrong to be upset? No. Look, my wife's not shackled to the stove. She works & brings up the kids, blah blah blah. But, when she says she's putting the meal on the table, that's what I'm expecting. Her cooking skills are the topic of another post someday.

So I ask the Queen, what are we having? She looks at me like I just crawled out of the primordial ooze, and then replies- Tuna Sandwiches.

Now, you tell me. If you're told you're getting a nice chicken dinner, then come home and get a cold Tuna Sandwich, how would you react?

Oh, by the way - I asked for onions in the tuna and was told no f'in way.

So, I was pissed. Deservedly so, I believed. Wouldn't you be?

After a few barbs about my hosing I was told pretty much to F off. And that's OK. Because I love my wife and know it was in jest and it relates to the first part of my post. And tonight I'm making myself some chicken, because my wife's going to her part time job that she took to keep us living in the style in which we've become accustomed. So in the big picture, tuna ain't so bad.

I just would have liked non spicy chicken, like I was promised.